Cleveland Clowns

Jobu has watched almost all Indians games this year. And Jobu get excited when Indians start winning streak (i.e., win one game before lose next hunnerd). But Indians have system where bats hot, pitchers cold. If pitchers hot, bats cold. Jobu already big fan of hats for bats. Might be time for hats pitchers, too.

If game last just five innings, Indians would be near undefeated. Always blow it in late innings. Jobu not understand why. Especially to Canadians.

Is time for Cliff Lee to come off Shit List. And time to add Whole Fuckin Team instead. Canadians, you stay put because.... well... yer Canadian.

B-U-T-full

Jobu watch whole game. Have to shit since 6th inning. Indians able to squeeze out win. Now Jobu off to squeeze out little victory of his own.

The $62,000 Video

Man went to Mexico and downloaded WALLE for some kid. Used cell phone network and was charged $62,000. Jobu not have cell phone and not understand technical shit. Not sure how he download whole movie over phone. Or why he download WALLE. Or why he even GO to Mexico in first place.

Photo of WALLE giving man the finger and saying: "Fuck You"
"Where WALLE's money at, bitch?"

Why not download good movie instead?



At least Indians win in movie.

Purrrrfect

Jobu has been looking in blogosphere to see what other people write about. Cats, kids, and gardening very popular. Jobu has planted kids in backyard, but has not seen any sprouts yet. Maybe need more water? That is only garden Jobu have.

And Jobu not have pet. But Jobu want to be true member of blogosphere. So Jobu post photo of this:

Jobu not lady and not have cats. Please accept Jobu's finding of woman turned into cat as acceptable compromise.

Holy Shit

Jobu cant believe Indians won today. And with score of 10-2 no less. Against YANKEES! On OPENING DAY! At BRAND NEW STADIUM!

Is good thing Jobu not wear pants during game. Jobu might have shit them. Jobu still have to clean up pile on floor though...

Canadian Achin'

Jobu is happy today

Indians beat the Blue Jays

Tribe have better luck

and Jobu hate Canucks

So on Jobu's Shit List you stay.

Jobu Hate Canada

Jobu still sad. Indians still not win single game yet. What worse is Indians lose to Toronto Blow Jobs. Canadians! How can baseball team lose to hockey team? Is very bad. Canada now on Jobu's shit list, too. Jobu think is time to change name of Cleveland ballpark from Progressive Field to Regressive Field.

If Indians keep losing, Jobu not have liver from all this drinking. Which remind Jobu... is time to get more rum: only good constant in Jobu's life.

Jobu do more drinking all week than all last year. Almost out of rum. Very bad.